What if you took care of yourself the way you take care of everybody else?
What if you loved yourself the way you love everybody else?
It's as easy as breathing to pour into those you care about, to make sure that their needs are taken care of. While at the same time being so easy to push yourself to the back burner, so far that you forget what it even looks like to take care of you - your wants, your needs, your likes and even dislikes.
When you hear someone say, "practice self-care", you don't even know where to start or what that might even look like. I get it!
I've been there and over thought what it even means to me. If you're reading this and this is you here's what I did to answer those tough questions and how I got back to loving myself and taking care of myself in the same way, if not even more than, I was loving and taking care of everyone else.
💜 Find what makes you feel joy, things that you love and can do daily.
Self-care is not a one size fits all, doing what you need is what's right always. This was one of my favorite things I did to get a clear picture of what self-care was for me because it reminded me of all the things that I love, that makes me smile. When you're doing this, sit down with a pencil and paper (or your notes app, whatever works) and write out all the things that you can think of that bring you joy. I mean literally everything and anything that brings you joy. It can be things like having fresh flowers around the house every week, having music playing, a specific color, or a back rub. Take the time to sit in the moment, remember it's what brings you JOY.
💜 Have a plan for how you will bring those things into your daily life.
This is important to helping you make a habit of taking care of you. Start out small. Jumping in and trying to implement multiple new self-care activities/practices could become overwhelming, try adding just one at a time. You are working toward these being daily habits and you know as well as I do that if you pile too much on at one time you'll be more likely to quit. You can start by adding one bouquet to your living room or kitchen and then slowly work up to multiple rooms, asking your partner/spouse for a weekly back rub, or getting in at least one evening walk. Low and slow will make it so much easier for you to make these joyful activities/practices a daily habit you don't want to skip.
💜 Set goals for when you'll do them throughout the week.
Accountability was huge for me. Now that you've got the activities/practices down that you want to start doing more, it's time to set some easy, realistic goals for how often and when you'll do them. Like I said above, low and slow. Maybe you want to start unplugging from social media or your phone more. A good goal might look like taking 20 mins off every evening or before bed or taking 15 mins to just be with yourself after you've gotten the kids out the door to school. Once you've been consistent with these goals for a week or two, turn it up a bit and challenge yourself.
💜 Find support, Find support, Find support.
These changes are going to not only be challenging for you but they will be challenging for your family too. Make sure that you have a support system who can be there for you. Find people who are walking a similar path of getting back to loving and taking care of themselves, bonus points if they are engaging in the same activities/practices as you. If you're doing similar or the same things you can meet up and do them together to switch up.
💜 Don't be afraid to adjust and tweak as you go.
There will be set backs and bumps as you navigate through this so it's important that you know you can change things with the ebb and flow. What you decide to do this week is not set in stone for the next week or even a month from now. Your needs will change, life will change and that's ok. Figure out what it is you need in that moment, that stage of life and switch it up if you need to.
Self-care is about what you do to protect your wellness and happiness so you can operate & function at your highest level. From places of joy not obligation. It won't always be things as pretty as flowers, it may be to prioritize your dental checkups or to say "no" more. As long as it's ultimately boosting your wellness and happiness, it's taking care of you and that's self-care.
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